rest well, old friend

They said, '' You never know what you got until it's gone''...

It wasn't fully a regret for me. Because I am glad that we ended up being friends despite the past we had together. 

When I think about ex, I think that the conversation stops once we end the relationship whether good or bad it ends or if one of us moves on with someone new. Never in my wildest dream, I am imagining losing someone I love whom I call my ex, my friend, my first love through death. 

It still comes as a surprise to me and I still can't believe that you are no longer here. Sometimes I go to your insta and hope that your account is being hacked and that post wast real. But up until today, the post remain there and the comment kept on increasing. 

Like I said in the beginning, it was never a regret on my part. It's just that I never thought that our friendship did not last long and I wasn't there on your last days. I know that you were sick. It's just I never thought it was serious. Because you never shared much and I didn't ask more. I know you on and off to the hospital but it was always something that I see not severe. 

What makes me going to miss a lot is that this year, I will never going to have an extra birthday wish. You never missed wishing me a birthday as our birthday falls in the same month, May. You are on the 5th while I'm on the 20th. And there are no more comments from you on any of my insta stories after this. I guess because we are alike (Tauras, May babies, firstborn), we understand each other better and you always know if something is wrong with me. It never felt awkward for me to talk to you, sharing things even though we had our past together. 

Well, I am going to miss you a lot. But I know you are in a better place now. Rest well, my friend. 

Until we meet again.